Day 12 in the Big Sister House

Perhaps the most revealing detail of Saturday was the fact that on 4 separate occasions, orders were made via UberEats for dessert foods to be delivered. On one occasion, panic ensued as the housemates realised that two delivery drivers were likely to meet on their doorstep, and surely judge the housemates for their lavish quarantine lifestyle. Jodie postulated that maybe this would provide a meet cute for a lifelong romance between Khaled and Delivery Driver #2, a quarantine-genre film that studios will be fighting over the rights for imminently.

You know times have changed when Buddleia, (the noted horticulturalist and vehement takeaway protester) spends an hour choosing whether to get chocolate or fudge sauce on delivered cookie dough. It was a concerning sight for the other housemates, who generally rely on her particular brand of culinary self-sufficiency and Ottolenghi-leaning tastes. Mia had vowed never to order through UberEats again, following an order on Friday night that was never delivered and for which she was refused a refund. It was a blinking contest between one lone girl and the titans of food delivery. Mia is unwilling to publicise the outcome but does want to state for the record that these are desperate times and delivery fees had all been set to free...

Naomi has taken to the new barter economy like a duck to water. The results of the erotic photo shoot have been used to secure wine and other provisions, as well as blackmail Mia into giving Naomi her bedroom chair. It was inevitable that someone would come out on top in these new times. That person is Naomi.

Jodie dodged questions from the housemates about her relationship. The housemates were very intrigued to know the level of sentimentality that had been expressed between the star-crossed couple during the quarantine, who are known to be generally PDA averse and whose public interactions are normally founded on mutual mockery and wryness. Charles - ready for comment when you are.